First, I am so glad to come back to Ebay after 2 years. I've really missed this place and the people here. I haven't decided yet if I will start selling again but shopping and the boards are a lot of fun.

I guess I need some advice and need to hear what other parents have done in the same situation. The one person I told doesn't agree with the way I am handling things.

I came home from work yesterday and my 17 yr. old DD was not home. She was grounded for talking back but I assumed the church van came and she went to church ( I also did not see her bible on her night stand). 9:00 comes around and my husband gets a phone call from a bondsman stating that she had been arrested around 2:00 for shoplifting. He said we can come pay her bond and get her out. We decided we were not paying her bond and she could sit and learn her lesson. He told us to call back today after she sees the judge and he will let us know the status.

I called today and he said the judge gave her a $425.00 fine and we could get her out. She was charged as an adult and is obviously in adult jail. We have 3 jails here in Amarillo, somehow (we live nowhere even close to this neighborhood) she ended up in the nastiest and worst one we have. The bondsman said it's mostly prostitutes and things like that that are there and should be enough to scare the heck out of her. I asked him if I could leave her there and if I needed to do anything and he said she can serve her time, which would be about 4 days and 3 hours and I do not have to do anything since she is considered an adult. I told him fine, let her sit and pass the message that when she gets out I won't be there to pick her up so she can walk the 7 miles home and she better think of a plan before she gets home . She also can not call home because we have cell phones and no home phone and we will not go see her.

She has never really been in trouble before and I don't understand what went wrong. We have raised her with morals and high standards and I just don't understand. I am mad but most of all I am so disappointed and it leaves me to wonder what we could have done differently as parents. She was going to enlist in the Marines next year and now she has ruined that by her stupidity. Her grandfather (my dad) was also going to pay in full for her college tuition once she came out to be a counselor to children with problems and he was taking her in 2 weeks to buy her the car of her choice for all the hard work she has done. To top it off, she had her paycheck in her pocket and didn't need to steal anything.

I'm at a loss. My friend said I should not let her sit in jail but we feel like she needs to learn from this and hopefully she will. What would you do?